Great Expectations – Are They Ruining Your Romance?
It’s great to have high expectations of what life is going to be like when you’re sharing it with the person who is the love of your life. Unfortunately, many people have dreams and expectations that are simply unobtainable. Whether it comes from reading romance novels where the hero also realizes the error of his ways and gives in to the heroine’s every whim, or, on the other side of the coin, from watching rap videos where women are throwing themselves at the feet of men ready to cater to their every whim.
As a society, we’re giving mixed messages between fantasy and reality and it’s ruining more than its fair share of romances. If your relationship is becoming a bitter disappointment because it isn’t meeting up to your expectations here are a few things it might help you to remember.
Stop Comparing Your Relationship to Others
Whether you’re comparing your relationship to real relationships other people have (what you see of those relationships anyway) or something in novels or on television screens, you’re doing your relationship a huge disservice. Reality can never live up to fiction and you’re only seeing the public side of other relationships. You’re not privy to what’s going on behind closed doors.
Establish Realistic Expectations
The truth is that we all have expectations of life that rarely live up to reality. When it comes to relationships, learning to compromise and have expectations that are more realistic can make a world of difference when it comes to how happy you are with your partner. Both of you have areas where there is room for improvement. Identify them and make changes where appropriate.
Learn to Speak Up When It’s Important
The other problem regarding expectations arises when you fail to speak up when something is really important to you. Your partner can’t meet your needs if he or she isn’t aware of them. You must speak up and let your partner know what’s going on in your head and in your heart. You can’t hold the other person in the equation responsible for unknown variables. It’s not fair to either of you or your relationship.
It doesn’t seem like such a big deal at first glance. However, adjusting your expectations just a little bit, in order to meet your partner in the middle, can make a world of different to your happiness with the relationship and with your partner.